A brief expression of wonder

“Why do you always have to be so indecisive? I asked myself as I slapped my temple. And I really slapped it hard, so much so that for a second, the whole world before me appeared all wobbly. It was there that I finally made certain what it was that I was meant to do. No matter how much and hard you stared at the uncertain, you wouldn’t get a clear answer. That was the case here as well. And yet, there was also something new, something that experiencing sympathy had allowed me to see for the first time in my life. I chased after it.”

– Hougetsu Shimamura

I don’t want to get ahead of myself and spoil all my analysis and interpretations of Adachi to Shimamura, so I’ll keep this brief: For some time now, I’ve been exploring yuri manga and light novels. Not necessarily because I’m interested in lesbian content- although I personally appreciate it. But because relationships have been an interesting point of understanding the world. Why not explore all sorts of relationships?

Yes, I’ve just mentioned it! Adachi to Shimamura. I’ve been reading this for quite some time- perhaps in an odd manner (which I’ll discuss). It has an anime adaptation, which means it also has a soundtrack. I’ve been listening to it every time I read the light novel (and whenever I read absolutely anything- also Bloom into You’s soundtrack is great too!). Kinda controversial, but I’ve also been taking notes while reading- gathering quotes and writing comments on anything that catches my eye. Yes, it’s quite fun actually! No, it doesn’t break immersion- it actually encourages it. Or perhaps that’s not the “right” rhetoric to use here, but I’d rather not limit my (or other’s) experience to some petty attempt of universalizing the individual.

Anyways, it’s quickly becoming my favourite piece of literature. While it doesn’t depict much in terms of plot, and let’s be real: plot isn’t the only form of storytelling- that’d be extremely limiting to think there’s this thing called “plot” that everyone gives too much credit. But I’ve been going through various frameworks to analyze the narrative. A key element of the light novel is its narrative voice, which contains “perspective”. Shifting between each character’s perspectives! And whenever we have something like that, there’s a lot of linguistics, cognitive metaphors, and rhetoric to consider. Particularly with Adachi to Shimamura, abstract symbolism is used to establish a metaphor for relationships and growth (often using a dichotomic framework of biology and environment).

While that’s very interesting (and I’ll discuss it further in a larger work), I’ve actually only read the light novel. From the chapters I’ve read so far, I know the characters and story as well as I know the anime’s soundtrack (and I definitely know it well!). Actually, I can pretty much recite the lyrics of the anime’s ED. But, I haven’t watched it. To be honest, I’ve been trying to finish the light novel before I did. But today, I decided to check out the first episode. And oh my god…

I know the soundtrack.

I know the plot.

I know the characters.

I literally know what they’re going to say before the say it.

I know what they mean, what they’re suggesting, all the subtext behind the visuals and casual conversations.

But goddamn, that was a wonderful experience.

There’s an important thing to recognize- generally: Sometimes it’s easy to establish parameters to adapt an abstract understanding of the world. But how can you give yourself, a human- a single experience in the present, how can you give yourself such credit for knowing the absolute? And honestly, I have some criticisms of the adaptation. But to compare them- how can I? They’re both wonderful- and while I’m using the same word to describe them both… No, they’re not the same, yet they are. In what regard? Perhaps in a practical sense you could figure it out. For me? Who knows? Such a wonderful experience- I’ll chase after it all. When I hear the sounds of birds chirping on Wednesday, and when they return for Saturday. What’s the difference that we experience in such a world- where complexity can be simple, natural- where the opposite can be? That’s the essence of slice of life, and one that I will…

ATTEMPT TO MAKE A VIDEO ON.

Yes, this is a call for help- send help! I have 50 pages of notes for Adachi to Shimamura so far and there’s no sign of it fucking ending LOL but I also gotta work on my No Game No Life analysis which is 20 pages of notes for half of volume 6 so far bruuuuuh—–I also have to work on my creative writing shit like novels, poems, memoirs…

So much noise just to communicate. Indeed, no- simply, that is something that art has been for me. Can’t say it isn’t anything but an emotional experience in every regard. Can’t say that life hasn’t been anything but art. Can’t say it won’t be anything more- what will it be but…?