I think my greatest fear as an artist is when all my work fits into some sort of “style”.
I know that it’s my fear because it scares me on an existential level.
It’s fear, fearful; I’m afraid of it, so I don’t want it- that’s what I know.
As an artist, yes?
It scares me when someone can reproduce my work.
Like how someone traces your footsteps on a map,
oh you cartographer! I know that’s what you do, god of maps.
As an artist, yes?
It scares me when someone knows I’m talking to them, yes you!
You know how I feel, you’ve been through it before, you have the map to set me free.
You know what my goal is, and I know that I’m talking to you, reader.
As an artist, yes?
I hate to oppose my heart’s desire, my instinctual nature to feel “good”.
I’m told to write and let my heart waver, to print my signature to identify my wires.
It’s a metaphor, you understand this order, this structure!
As an artist, yes?
I know because I’ve been studying to perfect this art.
As an artist, yes this is how it is.
This is why you know, this is why we’re talking.
This is why it doesn’t work if you don’t understand me.
This is why I failed if I can’t explain me.
This is why I don’t know my identity if I can’t define it.
This is why they say you don’t truly understand it if you can’t explain it.
As an artist, I will tell you this is art?
As an artist, I will tell you to define your style?
As an artist, I am an artist…?
im sarcastically sorry whoever you are, there is no exit up down left right or wherever you want or expect it to be- please remain remaining until the ride is over
ah yes that’s right, I tend to get lost in my own world when the pen hits the ink-
That’s not RIGHT, I haven’t heard that before.
The pen hits the paper and writes letters, I’ll have you know!
As an artist, yes this is how it is.
The pen wrinkles as it goes to glimmer glows there
that place we see where our imagination promises and swears
oh where they put the light and rid of all fright
As an artist, yes this is how it is.
I tell you the dark is dark.
I tell you the light is light.
I tell you to define it right.
As an artist, yes predict it by tonight.
I tell you no artist comes bare, there’s quite a lot to share.
I tell you that framing is important, so ummm… transparent elephant of the covenant?
As an artist, oh talk to me like an artist for I don’t understand!
im sarcastically sorry whoever you are, there is no exit up down left right or wherever you want or expect it to be- please remain remaining until the ride is over
Circumpolar Congregation 
Not gonna lie, I’m pretty confused by this one lol, at least from my first impressions after reading it. I do like the meta style and repetition though. The fear of being predictable….the supposed need to define your own “style,” and the poem itself being a demonstration of breaking away from that supposed “style” anyone might assume out of you…am I on the right track?
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That’s a direction that I assume most readers would consider, however- I personally question what my “style” is. We create patterns and principles to define an individual’s style, but that tends to limit the scope of their expression in art. That’s why definitions tend to waver with situations- we can observe this with the many interpretations of “love”, how it is applied and how it is felt. So, is my “style” something universal throughout my work? Why is it this specific poem that seems uncertain? While writing this, I was shifting between memoir “style” and what seems like poetry, and I noticed that my “style” depends a lot on what I’m familiar with. Particularly the topic: when I get a grasp of something, what you’d perceive as my style would emerge. But I noticed that it means I’m limiting how I express certain ideas.
When I began writing poetry, my “style” was all over the place. Many can relate to this, I’m sure. However, I believe this to be a form of exploration of expression. Everything seems to “make sense” when you *achieve* your sense of style. It informs your framework of the world and you provide yourself with a sense of identity. Among the forms of art that I create, poetry isn’t in its distinct corner. My writing elsewhere tends to be a lot more strict, adaptable, etc. Why can’t that be apart of my poetry too? So in terms of this poem’s style, I’m not trying to break away from “that supposed style”, but considering what situations might arise different techniques. Here, I considered memoir writing and sticking to a more standard form of communicating. It’s how I typically speak, after all. But that’s not my “style”, it’s part of it- and that’s important to consider.
I will provide some additional thoughts: No, it’s not the fear of being predictable- it’s the fear of NOT being predictable. Why am I repeating “artist” so much? And at the end, “As an artist, oh talk to me like an artist for I don’t understand!” Why is “wherever you want or expect it to be” significant? What is the “exit” referring to? Also, I’d like to note that my goal isn’t for this poem to be universally easy or fun, inspiring, or whatever is marketable. It’s communicating the failure to communicate, subtly criticizing, considering what we want out of art and artists, a discourse between two people (yes, there are two speakers). It’s a frustrating conversation. Their goals are different while not being too clear, but they are trying to communicate- even if it’s sometimes one-sided. Thematically, it’s a conversation about art and what we want it to be. Do we want art to be understandable, do we want it to be universally communicative, a prompt for discourse, something aesthetically pleasing, propaganda, feeling horrible… What do we do when the art doesn’t fit what we think of art? Or anything for that matter. What does it mean to not understand a piece of art? If it’s difficult to define something, what does that mean? Is that the only way to understand something?
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